Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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