mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
