ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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