you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
