i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
