Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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