why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
