ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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