she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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