I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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