I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
