i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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