RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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