Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
