Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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