Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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