k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
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