woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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