Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
