zippers are such a cool invention
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
