..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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