I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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