I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
