fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
