i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
