my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
