Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize