Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
