i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
