I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
