Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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