Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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