My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
