I faked an abortion last night.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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