So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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