do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
