The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
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There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
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My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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