its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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