whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
