i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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