We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
