If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
