I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
