Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we're making bets on your personal life
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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