Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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