Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
