Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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