thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
