they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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