I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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