dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
