she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
foreskin is a definite game changer
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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