Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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