I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
