I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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