SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize