Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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