That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
