mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize