I think my fart just growled at me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
