okay pat passed out under dana's car
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
that is very illegal...i love you.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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