my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
