God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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